What happens to Disney Princesses after They Get Married? Jon Cozart

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(This is another guest post by Ryan and is his own personal opinions. Not the opinions of BroadwayReviewed.com).

This is by far the funniest parody I have seen! Disney has a habit of sugar coating both current and historic events to make them more kid friendly. On the other hand, Jon Cozart is not afraid to provide us with the hard (and hilarious) truth of what happens to Disney characters that get involved with our oceans, the Middle East, indigenous population or interspecies relations. His explanations of what happens after Disney characters “dreams all come true” are definitely different than what I had envisioned growing up. However, if this guy ever happens to write or direct a sequel to any of these Disney movies, I will certainly come to the midnight premiere — I just won’t bring the kids.

Cozart opens up with a raunchy remix of Under the Sea. While he keeps the same bubbly Caribbean beat in an all accapella style, but he puts a darker spin on things. After all, Ariel is a 21st century mermaid. She has to share the sea with more than just her fishy friend Flounder — she also deals with the fallout from the Deepwater Horizon explosion and her pals being massacred and eaten by the Chinese and Japanese.

In the Aladdin bit, Jasmine has finally landed her dream boy; only to have him promptly imprisoned in Gitmo. This is when Cozart busts out my personal favorite line: Bush was crazy/Obama is lazy/ Al Qaeda’s not in this country! On top of the witty lyrics, I thought that the facial expressions that Jon Cozart constantly makes through this part added a whole new level of hilarity to the song — although I doubt that is any consolation to Aladdin — he probably just wishes he had saved a last wish with his genie so he could abolish the Indefinite Detention Act.

Denmark has some fairly liberal bestiality laws. Unfortunately, Beauty and the Beast is set in France, and Belle’s secret is out. While Jon Cozart showed the spite of the town’s people towards Belle very clearly, he leaves us with a cliff hanger as to whether she gets killed by a mob, placed in jail, or just has her hairy hubby taken away by PETA is all left up in the air.

The Pocahontas film had a fair bit of violence for a Disney movie, but compared to what happens afterwards, it was a walk in the park. This piece was the one that truly showcased Jon Cozart’s talent. It displayed not only his acapella skills and his brutal sense of humor, but his language and acting capabilities as well. The part where the French and Spaniards freak out upon learning just how depraved Pocahontas has become had me cracking up regardless of how many times I watched it.

I’m not generally into parodies, but Jon Cozart nailed this one. Disney can be sickeningly sweet far too often, and I thought that watching a video sinisterly tearing apart all their idealism was a breath of fresh air. Even those who aren’t so sadistic should still be able to appreciate the witty lyrics and the terrific acting and singing skills of Jon Cozart.