I was at dinner with my friend last night and our server was talking about how he doesn’t think he’s cute. He was upset that he wasn’t an anorexic like the other servers at the restaurant or had a perfect body and how he felt like he had to compete with them. The thing is that not everyone likes anorexic guys or loud queeny twinks. To be honest, not many people actually do like them and it was kind of sad to see how he was upset and that he doesn’t get that most people can’t stand them. It also reminded me of the song I’m Not That Girl from Wicked.
I’m Not That Girl from Wicked is a song about not being pretty enough or talented enough or the girl that the guy you like would want to date. It’s like our waiter at the restaurant. The thing is that if you are competing with someone who is an anorexic and their life revolves around going to a club, their goals are to sell tshirts at a store in the mall and they think their life is over if they can’t get into a club, you are pretty lame. If you want to find someone of quality then you shouldn’t care about the guys who go for idiots like those other people, instead look for someone who likes you. My friend and I actually both thought the server was hot and were shocked when he almost cried because he didn’t like the way he looked. It was kind of insane. The issue with him is that he didn’t really get why he couldn’t find someone.
If you answer an ad or respond to someone who is in their late 20’s or older and has an age limit where you can’t be over 25, guess what, they aren’t looking for a relationship. They might date you, but when you get older and hit that age limit, they are going to move on and you just wasted your time. They want to date someone for their age. The person does have to be attracted to you so body type, top or bottom, etc… is important, but there are a ton of guys who are in shape or stocky that like stocky, fat, in shape, chubby, or not anorexic figures. The important thing is to find someone that likes you for you, can be attracted to you and doesn’t have hang ups on stereotypes, age or body types. When you meet the person who likes you for who you are, none of that will matter. It’s sad to see younger people feel like that, but most of us did at one point when someone we had a crush on didn’t like us back. Unfortunately for him he is working at a gay bar in DC and when I saw who his friends are, the things that don’t actually matter are what he cares about and until he realizes that those things aren’t important and he should focus on school, a job and not about what he thinks he looks like compared to other people, he probably won’t actually realize that he is cute and is just not thinking about what things are actually important. He sort of reminded me of the song I’m Not That Girl from Wicked because when he was talking it sounded like he was watching as everyone else was falling in love or getting the guy that they wanted and he was alone. Unfortunately he has the wrong friends and wrong idea of what is important but most people grow out of that when they get older.